Wordpress

The Beep Beep Boop post editing system seems a bit… shit, if I’m honest.

I didn’t mind when WordPress added in the Beep Beep Boop alternate post editing page because there was a link that said “Click me if you want to use the old editing page” and when I clicked it the Beep Beep Boop page went the fuck away like a bad smell being sucked out of a car window.

But now that link is no more! WordPress, annoyed with their users failure to love the ginger step child they have created after one too many expensive hipster coffee jams, have decided we must all be forced to use the Beep Beep Boop Bollocks because we are too fucking stupid and ungrateful to know what is best for us.

Sigh. Look, I love you WordPress. I even loved you enough to move my blog from Google and I bloody love Google! But blocking me from using a perfectly good dashboard in favour of the bag of poo that Beep Beep Boop seems to be related to is not my idea of repaying my slavering, blind love. No, making me use Beep Beep Boop means that I can no longer get a simple wp.me link (something that took 2 seconds and now takes a lot longer and involves sharing to a tweet and then C&Ping the wp.me link out of that tweet so I can post it somewhere useful) and I can no longer copy a post (something I had come to rely on hugely as it saved me much time and help ensure I didn’t miss tabs and categories).

It turns out I can get back to the old dashboard and posting format by using the following link (https://headburroantfarm.wordpress.com/wp-admin/) but really that is a faff and WordPress is becoming very faffy these days.

As much as it pains me to say it, it may well be time to quit WordPress once and for all and head over to Blogger again. It’s been a good 10 years WP, but frankly my time is limited and my patience wears thinner with age. I’m going to have a peek over the hill and see if the grass is any greener (and if Google have stopped Blogger being a fugly sack of kak). I might stay, I might not. Loyalty isn’t what it once was, but that runs both ways I think you’ll find.

10 years of blogging. Blimey.

I just saw this notification from WordPress and it seems I’ve been blogging for 6 years now! But when I thought about it, I was even more shocked when I factored in my previous blog. I’ve been blogging for 10 bloody years now. Sweet baby jesus!

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It’ll never catch on, part 528,913…

It must have been 5 years ago. I was sat on a bus struggling to get my precious Xperia 1 to let me blog. I had tweeted about my frustrations, venting how hard it was to wrangle a post out of the device because the app WP had released didn’t cover the god-awful Windows 6.5 Sony had crippled their wonderful device with. My thoughts were picked up by a fellow blogger and one of her regular commentors mocked my desire to blog on the go. He found the very idea that someone would actually enjoy blogging on a phone laughable.

And yet here I am, 5 years down the line and with 99% of all my posts are written on my tablet or phone, which goes to prove that the internet is becoming more and more mobile for me all the time. That and what an enormous tit that commentor was, but then of course he always was.

My blog’s 2012 in review…

The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2012 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

4,329 films were submitted to the 2012 Cannes Film Festival. This blog had 16,000 views in 2012. If each view were a film, this blog would power 4 Film Festivals

Click here to see the complete report.

2010 in review, or “How Hammy, pron, google, a bug and even the Lab made me”

Those lovely people at WordPress sent me an email to tell me how my blog is doing and from the stats below I think that despite all my efforts I can only attribute my success to the following things – a link from New World Notes, perverts looking for a big cock, people (inexplicably) searching for pictures of Big Ben’s insides, a strange coding bug by CNN and a single link from the Second Life wiki. Good job I couldn’t give a toss 😀

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The stats helper monkeys at WordPress.com mulled over how this blog did in 2010, and here’s a high level summary of its overall blog health:

Healthy blog!

The Blog-Health-o-Meter™ reads Wow.

Crunchy numbers

Featured image

The average container ship can carry about 4,500 containers. This blog was viewed about 14,000 times in 2010. If each view were a shipping container, your blog would have filled about 3 fully loaded ships.

 

In 2010, there were 178 new posts, growing the total archive of this blog to 691 posts. There were 3 pictures uploaded, taking up a total of 582kb.

The busiest day of the year was May 16th with 283 views. The most popular post that day was What the bloody flip?.

Where did they come from?

The top referring sites in 2010 were twitter.com, nwn.blogs.com, steelheadsl.ning.com, blogger.com, and bakerblinker.wordpress.com.

Some visitors came searching, mostly for inside big ben, big ben inside, haunted house, headburro antfarm, and biggest cock.

Attractions in 2010

These are the posts and pages that got the most views in 2010.

1

What the bloody flip? May 2010
8 comments

2

SL Places: A Trip To London August 2008
6 comments

3

Bots in Linden Land? Surely not… June 2010
22 comments

4

Burro Tales June 2009
8 comments

5

The Magellan Files October 2008
4 comments

Is it ME or I or ONE?

I’m not a writer and I slept through large chunks of school so I’m happy to admit my spelling is crap and I love spell checkers. WordPress (i.e. where this blog is) have a lovely spellchecker built in, but from today I can also have it checking my grammar and style too – just like Word does but without having all the shitty MS formatting to clean up – yay!

By ‘eck but I love WordPress!

What I hate about WordPress…

After that strong opening, let me say that I LOVE WordPress. I love its ease of set up. I love its look and feel. I love its widgets and options and tinker-ability. I just love it. Next to its 52inch plasma screen HD beauty, Blogger looks like a clunky old portable TV with hoop aerial and no remote (1).

But what I do hate about WordPress is how frigging hard it is to use on a phone. I don’t mean to read – that’s easy enough (3), but rather to edit a post which is a full-on knacker-throb of godlike proportions.

WP recently revamped their dashboard and it looks ace on the laptop or PC – all lovely drop down arrow menus and roll-over menus and mmmmm, just lovely. Really easy to use. Really lovely. But really, REALLY hard for my windows mobile powered phone running Opera Mobile 4.5 beta to deal with. SO VERY REALLY HARD.

This is a typical example – yesterday two posts were published at once due to an oversight on my part when scheduling them. No worries, just pop in and change one to a later date and it’s gone. 30 to 60 seconds on my PC. Fully 30 fucking minutes on my phone. THIRTY FUCKING MINUTES. By the end it was a battle of wills. I won. But it was a pyrrhic victory at best.

The problem seems to be (4) that the fancy dashboard page and roll-over menus take so bloody long to load or render in Opera Mobile that it’s almost impossible to navigate a page, let alone change something and press the publish/update button.

What we (by ‘we’ I mean the WP WM community, i.e. ME!) need is an app that at the very least allows for easy logging into the blog and editing of posts. I’d really like a sync option so I can alter a post offline and then just upload the changes, but this may be asking for a blowjob off God for all I know (see 4). There is one app I know of that sync to WP, TBlogger, but the developer isn’t working on it any more and it’s not stable on the latest WM so is bugger all use. Gah!

Look, any app developers out there be advised that I’d pay cold hard cash for a good WordPress blogging app. Get to work you devilish little code monkeys. In the meantime, I’ll post this via the email-to-blog system WordPress have just introduced. Nice, but not how I want to blog (5).

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(1) I’ve no real idea about LiveJournal but that seems ok – maybe a 28inch flatscreen LCD to stretch the metaphor a bit further. Other ones I can only guess at. They all seem a bit Social Networky to me. I write a blog so I, ME, MOI can have a platform to shout into your earhole about how brill I am. I do not want people voting how much they liked my posts. I want them to put funny and witty comments after the posts so I can carry on being amusing with my amusing friends. I am, as I have said, a selfish social networker. If I had a wall, only I could write on it, although I would welcome amusing post-it notes from others. Selfish you see (2).

(2) Ohh, and I LOVE reading other people’s blogs – I want them to amuse and/or charm me with their brilliant posts and I want them to extend the fun into the comments section too. I’m not so selfish that I expect anything different than I offer on my own blog. Tsk, what do you take me for? But I usually drop blogs very quickly if I get no reply in the comments. I’m easily hurt like that.

(3) Flash embedded stuff is a problem, but that’s hardly WP’s fault – come on Adobe, sort it out! And Opera Mobile, for god’s sake just replace flash embeds with a picture rather than struggling manfully on before crashing out and weeping in a corner, you dolt.

(4) What do I know? Fuck all at the last count.

(5) Here’s my Wish List for a mobile WordPress blogging app:
Has to support multiple WP blogs & users – I have more than one blog 🙂
Has to work offline – I write all posts offline and publish later.
Has to be able to edit all aspects of a live post easily.
Has to include Categories and Tags.
Has to include Cut & Paste (not as often included as you’d think!)
Has to be able to embed links.
Would like a HTML & WYSIWYG edit view for creating new or editing existing posts.
Would like to sync with blog.
Would like to include the Extract section.
Would like to see the Media section so I can include saved Media into posts.
Would LOVE it is it also handled other blogging platforms (like MoBlog does) as I am part of Blogger blogs too.

The Trials of Mobile Blogging

Did I mention I’ve got a fancy interwebz phone called the Xperia? Well I have and I’ve been trying to blog from it of late – but finding it somewhat frustrating because of one word… Windows. It runs Windows Mobile 6.1 Professional and frankly it’s about as much fun as shitting needles.

It crashes. It needs restarting. It throws hissy fits. But still, I love it – it’s not as user friendly as the iPhone or as much fun as the Google Phone, but I think it’s twice as useful as either. But trying to find good apps for it is a real pain. I’ve now got a good chat program called Palringo and a great Twitter app called PockeTwit, but trying to find a good blogging tool that works with WordPress (the free one, not a self-hosted version) has proved a right old nut ache.

If you are searching for a mobile blogging app for Windows Mobile that can handle Wordress, let me save you a shedload of heartache. You have a realistic choice of two – both free, both unsupported – as far as I can tell:

1) moBlog. This is the simpler of the two, but handles more than just WordPress. The biggest problem I’ve found (and others in various reviews) is the lack of copy & paste, a huge draw back for blogging. But I’ve found a work around – pull up the on-screen keyboard and use the good old shortcuts of CTRL-C/V/X. Thank god for Windows 😉

2) TBlogger. This is a very clever WordPress only app that has everything and the kitchen sink in. But it also won’t let you c&p unless you use the on-screen keyboard. Still, that is not the biggest issue I have with it – the load time is huge! And occasionally it goes into the loading something in the background that freezes it up. I’ve left a comment on the author’s blog, but I don’t think he’s updating it anymore. If he does, then it’ll become my tool of choice, but until then its moBlog for me.

There you go – I hope you learn from my efforts. And I hope whatever Microsoft comes up with to replace Window Mobile is a hell of a lot more stable, expandable and, well, fun than the yawn fest that is 6.1. Oh, and if Adobe could please release a version of Flash for mobile, that would be rather lovely too.