Life in Tyria: Legendaries are another miss, just like in LOTRO.

OK, let me start this by stating two things:1) GW2 legendaries are *not* as bad as LOTRO’s clusterhump system, and 2) I don’t actually own a legendary in GW2 so have never used one but I still think they suck and here is why.

1) It’s grindy, complex and frigging expensive to make one. I just haven’t the time or the money to do it so owning such a weapon (and armour should it ever be added) will be out of my reach. Given that the next level down, Ascended, seems to be just as much of a ballache to craft it looks like my gear progression in GW2 stops at Exotic and this strikes me as a damn shame.

2) They are as ugly as hell. Jebus H Pressley but the GW2 devs like to design some tacky, spiky shit. True, this is purely subjective but the fact remains there are almost no legendary weapons I’d want to be seen with anyway. Hell, look at Orcrist from The Hobbit, it doesn’t look like they were bought in a Blackpool £1 shop does it? Here, let me demonstrate.

Orcrist - how lovely, almost as if created by talented craftspeople/elves.

Orcrist – how lovely, almost as if created by talented craftspeople/elves.

A fugly sword bought from a cheap kid's toys shop and made with no love or care.

A fugly sword bought from a cheap kid’s toys shop for £1.99.

Some weird looking legendary sword from GW2 - it makes my eyes sad.

Some weird looking legendary sword from GW2 that makes my eyes sad.

So given that I will never be able to get a legendary weapon in GW2 and if I ever did I’d never want to be seen with one, why am I moaning about it in this post, beyond something to post & moan about I mean? Well just because I don’t want to be seen with a legendary weapon that looks like it was made by my seven year old and coloured in by my 4 year old doesn’t mean I don’t want a legendary weapon. Let me explain something about the way I play my games, from SL to LOTRO to GW2.

I carefully design the look of my characters. Now this may come as a little bit of a shock to some of you, but I think long-term readers and old friends who know me well and have played along side me in SL will know that I always find a look and then I stick to it. HeadBurro Antfarm went through a few trials before I hit on the half-gazelle skin in urban clothing and ethnic jewellery. Hell, just finding that backpack was a huge undertaking that I still remember fondly. In LOTRO I dressed all my guys in what I considered to be appropriate gear – the hobbits in Bounder’s garb, the human warrior in armour but with a backpack fit for the scholar he was, the dwarf and elf in similarly suitable ethnic & profession gear. None of them have been showy or ostentatious, none have gone in for garish colours or effects, weapons have been suitable for the lore & professions, armour has been muted and, as far as possible, realistic in nature.

And then I come to GW2. Oh boy. Someone in Arenanet has a spike fetish. Someone likes huge shoulderpads. Someone dreams of bling. Just look at this unholy monstrosity!

Jesus. H. Christ.

Jesus. H. Christ.

Who in the name of all that is holy would wear that? It would be fuck all use in a fight and if she as much as coughed her tits would pop out. And how is she going to get in to any tavern with that stupid hat on and those mahoooosive shoulder… things strapped to her? And curly toes? Jesus.

Look, I can live in a world where this shit exists but is it too much to ask for some of the armour and weapons at the top of the tree not to look like the vomit pattern of a caffeine & red bull riddled mentalist?

Oh, what’s that you say? There’s a Transmutation system? I can give this amazing stuff the look of my boring looking armour and we are all happy? Hardly. That costs money in GW2 and at about a quid a pop which could make transmuting all your armour and weapons cost you upwards of ten British pounds every time you upgrade them en masse. Call me odd if you like but the thought of paying multiples of monies just to keep the look of my character the same somehow doesn’t appeal.

Now my understanding, without ever having owned or used one, is that these legendary weapons are not a huge stat boost. Arenanet, wisely in my opinion, veers away from sudden and huge jumps in the power of gear and instead makes the changes small but relies on the ‘improved’ looks they design to entice players in for the bigger, brighter shiny. As I think we have discovered this won’t work on me and given that the power uppage is small why do I want one?

Because I do. Because it’s a game genre about, among other things, continually improving your gear.Part of the fantasy (and scifi and spy and etc…) genre is the finding of the bigger, better weapon and playing an MMO RPG should be no different. I’m not dashing all over Tyria helping people out for the good of my health you know, I want a reward. Several rewards. I want a legendary weapon. I just don’t want the ones Arenanet are offering.

So what is the answer? What is it I want? Well dear reader, I’ll tell you that in another post soon…


  1. We all want our BFG and will will trek a mile through damaging green slime to get it…but when we get there it better look like a BFG & act like a BFG.

    I simply don’t understand the concept you mention of transmuting equipment to look normal (I presume like the cosmetic system in LOTRO?) but you have to pay to stay normal…that really is BIZARRE!

    So give me my cool looking Legendary and let me keep the one I like…don’t make me trash it, don’t make me hide it and don’t make me HAVE to have it. If you do all of the latter it better be a dammed good BFG…I know from experience that LOTRO falls down hugely in this regard, sounds like GW2 too….

    Are there any good BFG’s out there?

    (I did like Vagrant Story’s weapon system….and they looked cool with out looking like they came from Blackpool gift shop…)

    1. The thing with the GW2 stat increase model is that none of the top weapons, the “Legendaries”, will make you a God in the game. Indeed, with the scaling down feature (which is amazing) you can be in the full set of top gear and have the best weapon and still get killed by a large group of low level mobs if you are not careful. I like this a lot as it makes the field more even but the grind it takes to get a legendary is just a mind-fek. On top of that, the wardrobe system is totally geared around generating real world income for the game (a pay-once, free-forever game) so you need to by token that let you mix the stats and looks of gear. To be fair it’s a great system it’s just the cost that gets to me, even though there are ways to get token in game and you can even buy them with in-game gold (at a HUUUUUGE cost obviously). If it was 20p a time I’d never think about it but at a quid a pop I stop ever time and tend to back off. Basically they are pricing themselves out of sale when it comes to me, although I’m sure there are plenty of others with more easily disposable cash (I used to be one of them until kids…)

  2. Ah yes! Legendaries! I’m never going to get one of those, not really interested and even if I was I just HATE the grind. Why can’t I just kill a boss ONCE and get one?! Frankly, looking the way they do I don’t think they are really worth my time.

    1. I’ve watched many videos on crafting legendaries and I know that the economy has changed a lot in GW2 over the last 12 months – there might be more gold in everyone’s pockets but that just means the cost of the items has gone up accordingly (gw2spidy shows that) so they are no more affordable really. What really sucks for me in GW2 is the god awful crafting system – I simply do not understand it and do not have the time and money to master it so I’ll never be able to make any ascended or Legendary items. That sucks.

      I have a half-baked system in my noodle for a far batter system – If I get time over the weekend I’m hoping to blog it 😀

  3. I own Sunrise and I think it’s beautiful. 😦 Honestly you saying this image ) looks like something your seven year and four year old created… and even the same for the artwork put into the other weapons, is hyperbolic and rude. You may not like the style of the skins (just as I too do not like the Zodiac skins) but to demean the actual artistic talent of the artists who made them is wrong imo. It really detracts from your argument… just looks like a mean-spirited rant.. which ofc you are fully within your rights to make on your own blog of course.

    1. Hi mate, some of the weapons are gorgeous and the effects given off by weapons like Sunrise are just lovely, but a lot of them are eyesores. Of course that’s entirely subjective and therefore meaningless but I don’t want you or anyone else to imagine I’m denigrating the artistic talents of the devs – they got their jobs based on that talent after all. The problem I have is with the artistic style of, and not the skill behind, some of the pieces. If I asked my lad to design the most epic and awesome greatsword he could imagine I’m pretty sure he’d come up with something purile and ugly and that would match, in theme if not execution, some of the horrors in GW2.

      But you’re right, if this is seen as a personal attack on someone’s skill then I am sorry. It is meant as a critique of an artistic direction I truly hate for a variety of personal reasons that extend beyond mere sartorial taste and into more complex arenas such as business models, player elitism, and the questionable depiction of women. The post didn’t really touch on these, or when it did it was barely and then passed over in favour of a funny or ranty line. I don’t really make an apology for this though simply because I do not ever claim to be a serious commentator on games and my blog is, and always will be, fluff. Hopefully good natured fluff and amusing in tone with occasional passionate rants, but I don’t want anyone to take the crap I spout seriously. And I don’t want hard working devs to think I’m having a pop at them – that a bit like shouting at call centre staff; pointless and cheap.

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