Meanwhile, in Survivalcraft… DEATH BY SHARK!

I needed leather for saddles. I needed bears for leather. I went out to hunt bears. At night. Without dropping my belongings off in my house chests firsts.

I am a plonker.

It started badly when I couldn’t find any bears, only coyotes and they only give one leather patch off so I had to range further and further away from my house until, with a shock, I realised I was near my first shelter south of my base. Here, for some reason I can’t pretend to understand, the sandy beach gives way snow & ice and the only critters other than seagulls are vicious polar bears. It was with one of these furry bastards I found myself in battle when my killing blow knocked the toothy snowball into the sea and I was forced to watch in horror as three prime pieces of saddle leather sank to the bottom of the freezing cold ocean.

I had no choice. Well, actually, I did but let’s pretend I didn’t, eh? It’ll make this narrative go much quicker if we pull together.

I dove in and swam down to where I could see the leather waiting for me, calling to me, beckoning me. If only the fecking stuff had shouted a bloody warning instead of whispering sweet nothings about saddles & horses! If only it had had the decency to shout “JESUS H CORBETT! SHAAAAAAARRRRRRRK!” but no, it kept regrettably quiet on the matter and just as I was about to reach the surface I found myself reenacting the opening scenes of Lake Placid…

image

Bastard sharks. Now I have a new enemy to punch in the nuts. If they actually have nuts. Still, you catch my drift. Shark. Nuts. PUNCH! Grrrrrrr!

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8 comments

  1. Where’s flipper when u need him ;D.
    Leonoreo I’m abit simple and I can’t find a link to your blog. Point me in the right direction please so I can check your stuff out mate 😀

  2. Yeah, where were the water leaping dolphins amongst this latest release with the sharks and rays? I had built an underwater glass room and there’s no whales or bioluminescent animals to see in the dark deep. May the kids do need to spam him constantly with suggestions in order for more ideas to occur to him.

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