Turbine should scrap the Legendary Item system they have. Simple as that. It’s shit. Confusing shit at that. They should call it their “Hero System” and put an entirely new Legendary Weapon system in place that actually makes sense.
But to see why I call for the public execution of a system I have only just begun to tinker with it may help you, the dear reader oft mentioned but rarely seen, to understand why I have such a visceral reaction to what is a genuine attempt by the developers at Turbine to give people a new weapon experience in the game. My reasons, laid out in no particular order bar what bubbles to the surface of my rage-boiling brain pan first, are:
- It makes no sense! I really mean this, it makes no fucking sense! The system is so complex and poorly explained that I can only imagine it came from a light-starved, old-school role player locked in the Turbine basement along with some illuminating monks & a valve operated computer the size of a VIP hotel suite. Now, back when I were a lad I hated reading the mechanics bits in the (hundreds) of RPG books I bought but at least when I did I expected to understand the mechanics they described – this is not the case with Turbine’s mind-fucking Legendary Item system. No, instead the developers sort of explain the basics and then wave you goodbye happy in the knowledge that almost no one actually understands it. Thanks guys but what you fail to understand is that my brain melted a few years back (about the time I had kids, odd that) and I can no longer handle anything more complex than a microwave instruction book (and even that bastard baffles me – I don’t know if I have a 850 or 900W model but I digress) so if you want me to use your system, you need to explain it very slowly, with worked examples and a bloody good list of DOs & DON’Ts
- The weapons aren’t all that special. First off how can so-called legendary weapons be dropping out of the backpack and pocket of every bastard goblin and orc between Angmar & Lothlorien? How can they be they special if they drop as mob trash? Secondly, the equipping & levelling seems to be an almost arbitrary mix of luck & long, laborious grind. Correct me if I’m wrong, but how can an item be called Legendary if the fucker is devoid of anything to make it special bar some slots to add stat boosts to? A level 51 Legendary sword that does a little better than a Level 50 crafted sword is not bloody Legendary! True it may become Legendary and have its name sung about in taverns across the land, but at the point you find it it’s just a bloody sword without a name or any ‘skills’ and in need of a shit load of time & effort from you the sucker its conned in to becoming its owner.
- Which brings me onto… how the bithering buggeration can a weapon be called Legendary if its sole purpose is to be levelled up just to be de-constructed for a single relic it contains? At which point did Thorin suggest someone melt down Orcrist so he could make a new sword with a rune that floated to the top of the molten metal in the forges? Fuck’s sake… I really don’t know where to begin with this… Legendary weapons are disposable are they? Really?
- Also they don’t feel very Legendary do they? Instead of wielding them with the air of one destined to tear the breath out of life’s lungs, they have you watching their levelling progress and running back to NPCs to have them re-examined again and again and again (why? how the hell could these “experts” not know what the damn thing does? how can killing a few hundred arbitrary bad guys change what they do anyway?). After the initial rush of excitement you realise that they are nothing but another excuse for Turbine to get us to grind and not use up their content so quickly, and I think we all know how I feel about grinding, don’t we? In the end, Legendary Items make you feel less like a god amongst men and much more like a bean-counter with a spreadsheet ticking off the number of kills until you can harvest yet another relic and move to another weapon like a serial cheater moving through an endless supply of desperate housewives in a ceaseless act of lovemaking that long ago lost all sense of joy and warmth and beauty and is now just a dead-eyed response to the limitless silence inside… or so I imagine… erm, anyway…
Turbine should cut their losses and call these Hero Items – let the clever spods in game piss about with them and make good ones to use or sell. Then Turbibe should re-start a Legendary weapon system in which you get a single weapon and class item (or whatever mix suits per class) that stays with you for the rest of your playing life. These become yours forever and you mould them with a mixture of levelling, skills & cosmetics (think skirmish soldier system which, lets be honest, is a doddle to understand). These items, these weapons would grow with you and take you through the fight for Middle Earth and become your respected and beloved friends and you would refer to them by name and come to love them like a brother and never, ever, EVER once dream about de-constructing them just to get a single, lonely fucking relic from their slag-bound remains.