#LOTRO: The Hubris of Mortral Man in His Eternal Struggle Agin Nature (or, I did got me a spankin’ ma!)

I know I haven’t mentioned it, but I have rolled/created/generate a new character/toon/avatar in LOTRO. I did this for, as best I can remember, three reasons:

  1. I have wanted to try a Rune Keeper for some time,
  2. I need another Explorer to gather crafting mats,
  3. I am a plonker who can’t ever just finish one bloody thing!

So Arranborn was, well, born. This elf of Lindon, noob rune-keeper & hopeful material gatherer stepped out into Erid Luin and immediately reminded me why I dislike Erid Luin so much. Also Elves. And Dwarves. Sigh. Still I burnt through the first 10 levels in no time and got up to 15 very fast. I had no troubles whatsoever – nothing came close to killing me, even though I found the magic-wielder to be less powerful (and therefore less fun) than I had imagined.

Around about the start of level 16 I began to seriously tire of the Erid Luin quests and noticed that my levelling had slowed to the pace of an dying snail. So I bit the bullet and buggered off to Bree – my idea was simple, get to 20 as fast as possible in Far Chetwood and just start skirmishing into my 40s, after all Far Chetwood had been good to all my guys so far and had seen two of them get their undying titles.

Ahhhh the Undying title. It means nothing yet matters so much. After such a good run with this guy I wanted it and I wanted it bad. I blasted through Far Chetwood and got to 19 in an orgy of killing bears, boars, wolves and Orcs like a man (Elf) possessed. and then I came to the Wood Troll. And killed him 3 times in a row. Bang. Bang. Bang. Get down and stay down punk!

I was a man (Elf) unstoppable.

I was Death with a satchel.

I was the Grim Reaper with just a whetstone baby.

So this morning when I had a 30 minute window I decided I’d get to 20 and be down with it. Nothing there could touch me now. Nothing.

Except I’m not on my game at the moment. I’m distracted. Work and home are on my mind more than healing stones and attack skill rotations. I tackled a few turtles but they were harder than before, took longer to put down. I made stupid little errors and failed to plan. Then I came across the wood troll again. I didn’t have to, but I took him down but it was harder. Not like yesterday when I ripped through him time after time. Still, he went down eventually.

And then I made my worst mistake of this character’s life. I failed to move from the troll’s spot. He regenerates very quickly. I had chosen to fight a turtle who did not go down. I had my back to the point where the troll appeared and it seems the fucker knows how to hold a grudge against someone who killed him so many times in a row. The bastard.

I floundered. I dithered. I hit the wrong skills. I didn’t run when I could. I tried to run when I couldn’t. I hadn’t put a healing stone down. I wasn’t using regen food. In short I did everything I could possible do to fuck the fight up and in ten seconds flat I went from a thousand XP away from being called The Undying to simply just dead.

If I could spend the billions of pounds needed to make a time machine and risk the whole of the fabric of existence itself by switching it on, I would use it to go back and punch myself.

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