Well that was a waste of forty quid! (or How I bought, loved and then hated Call of Duty Black Ops…)

It’s a great game, a gorgeous game, a wonderful game, so how come I hate the fucker? Simples… I am shite at it. Spawn, die, re-spawn and repeat. The longest I’ve managed to keep alive is three minutes or so, and only then by actively hiding from everyone, not quite what the game is about I’m guessing.

It’s not that I’m crap at FPSers, I’m not as a history stretching back to Doom can testify… it’s more that I’m crap at certain FPSers. I’ve never played the type of ‘realistic’ warfare game that Call of Duty is before and I’ve found my first foray quite a trial to say the least. I’ve tried to upskill quick, I really have – I’ve studied the countless fansites where they provide detailed video walk-thrus and tactics guides, but each time I think I’ve gleaned a new nugget of info that will help me play better it just proves to be a false hope as I spawn, die and re-spawn in an endless cycle of frustration.

It’s not my system – the PC setup I have for Second Life, and which only just copes with SL if I’m honest, rockets along with this game with everything set to “Eye Blistering” (for SL I have to set most graphics settings to “Meh” – just how the fuck is that right?).

It’s not even the game – that is great, honestly. It looks amazing and plays beautifully. The customisation settings are comprehensive to say the lest.

No, it’s not that I’m a FPS noob or that I have a laggy system or the game is a pile of dung, the problem is I can’t play it well enough to make it a fun experience for me.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not looking to win every match I’m in like some desperate guntard in need of a weird ego-boost via shooting everyone in the game. I don’t give a crap about winning and losing – hell, most of the fun in Left 4 Dead 1 & 2 is the fight with friends, the helping team mates, not the actual winning I’ve made some good friends through L4D and games are a fun experience. But in Black Ops all I seem to find are a series of cold, sterile killing grounds where I’m hopelessly out skilled and even in team games I’m on my own with no team work in evidence.

I don’t know what I need to do, but I know that I’d rather like to limit my playing to groups of similarly skilled people (not sure that’s possible) or get in with a team who’ll help me progress, but until then I just find the game too frustrating to play – I want to have fun, not stress!


  1. Maybe you could start a new version of gameplay where the object actually *is* to hide from everyone? Bonus points if you’re able to dress your avatar in some sort of wacky outfit while doing so… 😀

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