Dharlinks! I love it!

Lady Heady Face 2 Oh my dharlinks! That delicious demon man Dr Darien Mason has recorded his sweet husky voice reading from what I can only describe as both  a lost masterpiece and a hideous act of plagerism!For this work, this magnificent work is nothing but a blatant re-telling of my 1956 novel “The Slattern Needs Seamen!” which, rather like Captain Hip Shank’s vessel, sank without a trace due to a very poor choice of publisher on the part of my then fourth husband. Anyways Dhalrlinks, you simply must listen to the ravishing Dr Mason saying “her sex was a rainforest” – I guarantee that won’t be the only moist thing by the end MWAH!



  1. “Sweet husky voice?” Why thank you Madam! When I’m not screaming things like “FOOLS! I’LL SHOW YOU ALL!” or “PULL THE SWITCH!” or “IT’S ALIVE!” I drink a steady supply of tea with milk to soothe my throat.

  2. Oh, I know dear, some of my novels, like Madame Takes a Maid, have just gone off the Edge of the Publishing World and perhaps they were swallowed by SemenSters.

  3. Violet! My Dharlink! You have perhaps read my seminal work? I do hope it was a fulfilling experiencce as some cruel sould once said that “getting to grips with Captain Hip’s Shank just left a nasty taste in her mouth…” I ask you! Some people simple can not handle something of such magnitude. I, and I can only assume you, can do so like and old pro…

  4. Emma! Dharlink! I know Madam takes a Maid very well indeed. In fact I think she is rather expert at it by now and has worn out several of the city’s prettiest serving girls. The dreadfully delicious devil! MWAH!

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